Conversations With Silas

"Mom, who made God?" Silas asked me this morning.

"Well, no one made God- He was just always there and He made US!"

"Mom, where does God live?"

"Well, Silas, God lives in our hearts." I answered.

"Mom, do you think God likes to be tickled?"

"I'm sure that God likes to be tickled- God likes to smile."

A few minutes later, I passed by Silas as he was tickling himself in the chest area and giggling. "Silas, what are you doing honey?"

"I'm tickling God! He thinks it's really funny."

I am called to be a mother. I am driven to be a super-mom.

I am called to be a friend. I am driven to be popular.

I am called to be a wife. I am driven to be a prize- wife.

I am called to be a servant. I am driven to serve the most.

I am called to live selflessly. And in my quest to be unselfish, I often drive myself to selfishness.

I wonder what would happen if I only concentrated on what God called me to be- not what I am driven to be.

In one word.....

Who or what defines you?

Me?? Grace.

Silas and the metal detector

A couple of months ago, Jeff and I had to go to the downtown Houston courthouse to do some paperwork for the adoption. Sam was at school, but Silas went with us.

We stood in line for a little while waiting to go through the metal detectors and finally it was our turn. Jeff and I got through no problem. But Silas had some problems. He came through the detector and set the alarms off. What on earth?? I thought maybe he was wearing a belt, so I checked. No belt. They sent him out and back through. He still set the alarm off.

After several tries, the police officer finally had Silas stand to where he could use his wand thingy. Silas's whole body was frisked. Much to our surprise, the detector went crazy right around Silas's pocket area. Please picture our very innocent looking son being frisked by a police officer meanwhile holding up the evergrowing line waiting to come through the metal detector. We were mortified.

So, what was in Silas's pockets you ask? We watched Silas as he was asked to empty his pockets. Out came one car....two cars....three cars......EIGHT CARS all together! Silas has always been obsessed with Matchbox cars and has been known to carry one or two in his pockets. It never occurred to me he could stuff eight in and that it would be enough to set off the metal detectors.

We heard a few chuckles from the people around us and we went on our way. Silas was a little confused but thought it very exciting that he had been the cause of all those beeping noises!

What a typical little boy.

I cried myelf to sleep last night- again. We learned yesterday that our adoption will take even longer.

Jeff reminded me of the story of Abraham. Abraham was probably around 75 years old when God promised him a child. Abraham had to wait 25 years for God's promise to come to fruition. Surely, in light of that, I can handle a few more months!

Jeff (very lovingly I might add) told me what a blessing it will be when our daughter is a teenager and having hormonal moments. We will be able to tell her, "Selah- do you know how long we waited for you? Do you know how hard we worked to get you home? And you were MORE than worth that wait."

We honestly can't say we worked too hard for her brothers. They were both surprise pregnancies! And- of course- we love them dearly.

But our Selah......I LONG to have her in my arms. I dream about the first time I meet her. Jeff asks me, "Are you going to cry when they put her in your arms?" Of course I will!!! Because after many months of waiting, I will know that God's promise to us has been fulfilled.

We have arrived

We finally have upgraded to DSL!!! A HUGE thank you to my precious cousins, Teri and Christopher Bozeman, co-owners of Aculink, that have provided us with amazing dial up service for the past several years.

And since it only takes a few seconds versus half an hour to load pictures.....here's a couple from Christmas.........





Here's Sam and Silas on Christmas Eve. Sam apparently didn't want his picture taken.










My sweet sweet boys!!!

You can comment anonymously if you want to

Just wondering......do any of you go to the bathroom while your talking on the phone? If so, do you flush while you're still on the phone?

(Jeff thinks it's really weird that I do it, but I'm just SURE that other people do it, too. PLEASE tell me I'm right.)

Meeting Hope

While at the zoo with Silas today, I ran into Hope. Hope is a sixteen month old baby girl from China. I met her mother last year when they were in the midst of waiting for Hope to come home. And today I got to see her for the first time. To say the least, it was just the "Hope" I was needing!

We began this adoption process in Octeber of 2004. It has now been sixteen months. Several of our friends of gotten pregnant and had babies during this time. My younger sister had a baby. My older sister is having one in March.

What I think the waiting process feels like: I think it feels something similar to what a couple trying to become pregnant but each month finds out their not might be feeling. You see, for the last sixteen months, we have waited for "the call." And each month passes, and we hear nothing. I know I know. We've already got two children...what's the big deal? The big deal is that I know I have a daughter out there somewhere that God made just for us and I can't have her yet. And I get mad at God. And I get jealous of pregnant women. And I cry when I see a little baby.

But then I saw Hope. And, can I just tell you, she was the most precious little thing I've EVER seen? Selah will be MORE than worth the wait. I just needed a little Hope.

A good night

Last night, Jeff was late coming home from work. Before he got home, I put the boys to bed, who went down quite easily. I remembered to thank the Lord for two amazing little boys.

When Jeff got home, I sat with him while he ate his dinner. As we chatted, I noticed (for the millionth time) how remarkably good looking Jeff is and told him so. I remembered to thank God for a husband who provides for his family and is also my best friend- and easy on the eyes at that!

After Jeff finished dinner, he said, "A cold beer sounds really good." (Yes- we both enjoy a beer every now and then.) I went to the store to get us some. As I was checking out, the boy at the counter asked for my ID. Yes, I got carded! (Was it OK that I thanked God that I got carded?)

Life just doesn't get much better than that.

Looking for a home

For reasons that I won't go into, Jeff and I are currently looking for a new church home and have been for about two months. It's harder than I thought it would be. We live in Houston, Texas- there's a church on every corner!!!! And we can't seem to settle on one.

It's actually been rather nice and even a little healing for us to not be memebers anywhere at this point. We've had no obligations or commitments and a lot more family time. I'm likin' that! But, we also recognize there comes a point when we need to make a commitment.

We have several criteria, but, I wonder, what are your criteria when looking for a church home? How did you decide on the one you are at now? What are the things you love about your church?

I should get the parent of the year award

This morning while giving the boys a bath, I asked them, "Did you get your pee-pee's washed?"

Silas replied in all seriousness, "No..mom...the word is wienee......can you say that, mom? WIE-NEE."

Um, I guess I have some work to do.

Essential tremors....

That's what the neuroligist says it is. They're callled "essential tremors" because that's all they are- essentially tremors. They are not a symptom of disease or sickness- they're just tremors. He may grow out of them and he may not. They may get worse but they may not. He may have to go on medication some day but he may not.

I am SO relieved. After the diabetes scare, I refused to let myself believe the worst and I did pretty well for the most part. I didn't sleep too well last night worrying about him, but now I know he's going to be fine.

Thank you for all of your encouraging notes. Your prayers...and my prayers....were heard!

Covetting Prayers Today

I feel silly asking you to pray for Silas today in light of what is going on with poor baby Ira. (Read under "Joe&Laura" to the right.) But, I will because I have come to depend on my blog family for things such as this!

Several months ago, we notices Silas's hands trembling. It was so slightly, I wasn't even sure I was seeing correctly, but then Jeff noticed also. We thought it was related to his sugar intake, so we tried and reduced his sugar (ha ha) and watched when he trembled. It didn't have anything to do with sugar or no sugar. There were also a couple of other symptoms that I shared with my mother and grandmother. My grandmother immediately said, "You need to have him checked for diabetes!"

As a mother, I freaked. I scheduled him for the first available doctor's appointment which was yesterday and was beating myself up for not taking him sooner. All the while, my mind was going through worst case scenario's........"We're going to have to change our whole diet. I 'm going to need to learn to cook differently. Silas is going to have to learn to give himself shots. He's gonna go to those camps for kids with diabetes during the summer!" Yes...I know.....silly.

Well, the doctor automatically ruled out diabetes. Praise the Lord! But, there were other things he could not rule out....I don't know what. Luckily, Silas was trembling when we were at the doctor's office so he was able to see and I knew it wasn't all in my imagination! So- Silas is going to the pediatric neurologist today to rule out neurological problems. They also did a lot of bloodwork which we will have results by Friday. Silas was so brave when they stuck his arm with a needle! He didn't even cry- only flinched and I was so proud!!!!

The doctor said it could be something as minor as "benign tremors" which is something he will grow out of and doesn't affect anything else. So- that's what I'm hoping for!

Also- thank you so much to those of you who responded to the Proverbs 31 post. Your comments were an encouragement to me and the ideas helped me a lot! I'm still not sure what I'm going to do, but I do appreciate you ladies...and man (Tony Arnold!)

Proverbs 31 Woman....to be or not to be???

My favorite gift for Christmas was a new Bible that Jeff got for me. He knew of my struggle in 2005 to maintain excitement about reading God's Word and he got me "The Message." I love it. It has reignited a passion that I feared dead! Although I do not always agree with Eugene Peterson's intrepretation- it is fun to compare and study.

So, I 've been meditating on Proverbs 31. I know that, as Christian women, most of us has read it and I wonder how many of us have said, "Well- that will never be me! Those are sure lofty expectations!" I certainly have. But, I wonder, if it's something I truly strived for, would my family...and more importantly, my God....benefit?

So, my biggest struggle with intrepreting Proverbs 31 literally is verse 6. "She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day." (The Message) Some of the most amazing mothers I know do this. They are up at the crack of dawn having quiet time, preparing breakfast, and planning their day. HOW???? My children wake up at 6:30 almost every morning. If I were to get up early enough to have quiet time, organize my day, and make breakfast, I think I would need to be up at least by 5:30 and I have a hard enough time waking up at 6:30.

So, I want to know...if you have children or none....if you work outside the home or not......if you are a wife........how do you do it? Or do you? Do you take this passage literally? I would LOVE to hear your comments.