Better

I am feeling better and better every day. I am starting to see the light at the end of this tunnel and am realizing that perhaps my despair was more chemical than anything else. I won't go into details about the results of my blood work, but suffice to say, I am feeling better!

The Lord has sent me some awesome outlets that I am super excited about. One of them is that I get to be a part of a praise band. For those of you who know me well, you know that I thrive on music and I am thrilled to be playing with some very talented musicians right now. We lead our first worship service this Sunday evening and I am counting down the days.

Also, tomorrow evening, Jeff's boss is keeping our kids- ALL NIGHT!!! Now if THAT isn't an amazing boss, I don't know what is! Lori has two teenage daughters and an incredible husband and they offered for us to leave our kids all weekend long. We are going to let them for one night (we don't want to overwhelm them) and are super excited to have a night alone in our own house. Hmmmm......what EVER will we do?!?!?!?

And, God has sent me some awesome and wonderful women friends that I am so thankful for. One of them is Carrie. She recently moved here from the states and I simply LOVE having someone to talk to who really "gets" it. I mean REALLY gets it.

My precious friend, Brandi, has become so dear to me. Seriously, you should read her blog. She is hilarious and deep and compassionate and....well.....there are many things I appreciate this girl. I am thankful to be sitting at her feet and learning from her Godliness.

Jeff has continued to be wonderful and supportive. I sometimes wonder how he puts up with me. But, he does. And, he will.....because that's just the kind of guy he is. How blessed am I?

So, it's not that bad. It is not that bad. Calgary is actually a pretty darn cool city. Except for housing prices. Yeah. Housing prices in Calgary are not so cool. But, we still want visitors. Even if we're living in a shack- we'll make room. I promise. And I'll cook a really good meal or two to make up for the fact that you have to sleep on the floor.

I shouldn't feel like this

I warned you this was going to get personal.

I am in a rut right now that I can't seem to get out of. Am I depressed? Is it seasonal effectivness disorder? Is my thyroid out of whack? Perhaps, I am just a really selfish sinner. I honestly do not know but I would love to hear from any of you who have maybe struggled with depression.

I feel like I have no right to be like this. There is no reason for me to cry all the time. There are people who have real reasons to be sad.

To top it all off, Selah just came in to my room to tell me my boobs were "looking awfully big." And, "They're not growing down, Mommy. There just going up, up, up!" (And, before you ask, no, I am not pregnant.) Sad. So so sad. I will NOT cry over this. And I might even laugh.

Should I talk to a doctor? Am I going crazy? Should I be committed? Seriously......I would love to know.