Halfway to manhood.

That's what Sam reminded me of this morning. Tomorrow, Sam will be nine. Could it be that this boy who I gave birth to a mere nine years ago is so close to being a legal adult? It's hard to believe.

I love this boy. (And I will continue to say "boy" for a very long time.) I love his desire to please and the frustration he hasn't quite learned to control when he doesn't please. I love his competitiveness- so much like my own. I love his desire to be like his daddy. I love his protectiveness of Selah.

There is much I am proud of in Sam. I think that the mama bear has come out in me more often over Sam than my other kids. He is intelligent and sensitive and sometimes in the world's eyes this can equal nerdy and a cry baby. How often I have told him through my own tears that the Lord is pleased with his sensitive heart and that this is how Sam was created! And how often I have come to my room and sobbed knowing that there will be more heartache and trials and wanting so badly to shield him from it all.

Sam is quite proud of the increased hairiness on his arms and gets very excited over every little bump that pops up on his face. "Mom- I think I'm getting my first pimple!" he'll say. I love this sweet innocence and I hope he will always be proud, but know it is not likely he will always be eager to share. I wish I could hold on to it a little bit longer.

I wish I could hold on to Sam a little bit longer. I wish I could shield him from the world a little bit longer. And at the same time, pray that we have prepared him in the way he deserves.

This is what is on my heart on this night- this eve of Sam being halfway to manhood.

Lessons from Mt. Rushmore

Several weeks ago, rather abruptly, I decided to take the kids out of school a week early and embark upon a lengthy road trip. Jeff would fly down and meet us in Kansas at his family's place when his busiest work season was over. On the drive home, an easier journey with Jeff driving too, we had the privilege of stopping at several US landmarks, one of which was Mount Rushmore.

Driving up to the monument is an experience in itself. As you round the corner of a windy road, there it is, in plain sight. And it is breathtaking. To see the actual sculpture and it's beauty brought tears to my eyes. I loved reading the stories behind all four presidents and the reasons why their faces were chosen to grace this national monument.

I also loved reading the quotes from the sculptors and artists themselves. It was fascinating to hear many endearing stories about these men as they worked to mold one of the most visited monuments in the USA. This quote, in particular, from Gutson Borglum, impressed me:

"This is the work that I love the most, this intimate contact with the four men. As I become engrossed in the features and personality of each man, I feel myself growing in stature, just as they did when their characters grew and developed."

It occurred to me as I read that this is exactly how I want my relationship with Christ to be. Just as Mr. Borglum dug and hammered and learned about these men, I want to read the Word, pray for His will, and become engrossed in learning about Christ's character. Maybe in digging, learning, and praying, I will know Christ intimately and my life will eventually begin to imitate His. I have a long ways to go. A long, long, ways.

We heard several stories about the mistakes that were made along the way as the sculptors carved. If you look really closely, you will see big holes where chunks of stone were mistakenly chipped away. I suppose my life is a similar testimony. Even as I long to be a Christ imitator, I fail. There are big holes. Big, ugly discrepancies that I long to hide.

As I continually immerse myself in Him, I hope that the holes will become less and less visible. As I "grow in stature", I hope that when the Lord looks at me He will see mostly Himself. Like the artists longed for their sculpture to be perfect likeness to George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln, I long for my life to represent the perfectness of Jesus.

I hope that when all is said and done the discrepancies will be less visible than the beauty of Christ as He lived in me.

Silas Prays

I love to hear my children pray. Love it. Sometimes, I learn something that is on their hearts that I had no idea was burdening them. Sometimes, I'm amazed at the words that come out of their mouths.

Silas, especially, seems to have a gift for "Spirit-led" prayers. Recently, when at the home of sweet friends for dinner, Silas asked if he could say the blessing before the meal. His words were, "Lord, thank you for this house that is like a home and these people who are like family." What was amazing about these words was that Jeff and I had just signed on a house about 7 blocks away from this family and one reason why we liked the house was because of it's proximity to "Uncle" Curtis and "Auntie" Bernice.

Jeff and I had struggled quite a bit with whether or not we had made the right decision in buying this particular house. But, with those words, God- through Silas- confirmed to us that this is where we are supposed to be. We are a mere seven blocks away from "these people who are like family," and it absolutely thrills me!

We move in July 17. So, we will be homeowners! Please come and visit us. It is our goal that when you visit us, the words of Silas's prayer will be true for you, as well.