A New Place, A New Identity
Our family has news. Big news. We are moving! We have simply loved our time in Calgary. The Lord has grown me- us- so much. As of July, the place we will call home is Denver, Colorado.
Denver is our dream city for many reasons. It is about half way between my family and Jeff's family. It is in the mountains. It is an outdoor person's dream. A long time ago, we said that Denver is the place we eventually wanted to end up. And now it's going to happen. Our original plan was that we would stay in Calgary for a few more years, which is why we bought a house last July. I suppose the Lord does love surprises, doesn't He?
One of the things we have been talking a lot about is where we will go to church. Of course, our children want to go to church at the same place as Willow, Hunter, Trenton, and Cameron- their best friends here. But, we know that will not be possible. Sniff sniff.
One of the things that I have most been burdened by recently is how I think I have relied more on my church's denomination, rather than my actual relationship with Christ, to form my identity. I do not want my identity to be found in the Church of Christ (our denomination). I want my identity simply to be found in Christ.
Jeff and I want this for our children, as well. We desire for them to know the Lord and for them to rely on Him to fill their every need. I don't want them to always rely on us and I don't want them to always rely on their church. I want them to first look to Christ- just Christ.
At the same time, I love my heritage in the Church of Christ. I love that it has been passed down from generation to generation in our families. I love that I can walk in to any Church of Christ and have the ACU and Harding connections. I love that my grandfather has baptized people who's families still go to church- and one family we know here in Calgary. I love that.
But, I don't want my identity to be found in who I'm related to or who I know. I only want it to be found in Who I know. And how I long to KNOW Him!!! Really know Him!
We have a theme verse for our family that I have been meditating on recently. It encompasses everything we want our family to value and I'd like to share it with you:
......from the day we heard about you, we have not ceased praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you may live worthily of the Lord and please Him in all respects- bearing fruit in every good deed, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might for the display of all patience and steadfastness, joyfully giving thanks to the Father which has qualified you to share in the saints' inheritance in the light. -Colossians 1: 9-12
Lord, how I desire to please You! How I long to know You and for my children to know You. May our identities always be found in Who's we are- not who we are.
Update: I am shocked at the number of private messages I have received from "ex-Church of Christers" who have resonated with this post. My heart hurts. It seems our denomination has failed many. Thank you so much to those of you who have left messages. On one level it saddens me that the church of my heritage has failed so many and on another level it makes me want to stick with it to see that changes are made for the sake of my own children. We honestly don't know what we will do in Denver, but I just wanted to say a "thank you" to those who are willing to be honest and share your experiences.
posted by erinlo at 9:26 AM
13 Comments:
Erin, we also were both raised in the Church of Christ. A wonderful, amazing heritage. We made the excruciating choice to attend another denomination about a year ago. It was very hard. Feelings were hurt, not by words, but just by our leaving. Even within our extended family, feelings were hurt. I think the hardest thing for me, though, is the fact that people assume that when you change denominations (I won't say ESPECIALLY from the COC, though it seems that way), you must have become disgruntled or at least disillusioned in some way. I'm so proud of and grateful for my COC heritage, and still want to expose my children to some of the wonderful traditions. I will also say that moving is a good time to make such a decision, as people tend to ask fewer questions. I don't really have anything important to say here, which is why I'm rambling, but I just wanted to comment!
Sorry, wanted to leave another comment--when did you attend Harding? I was there 1997-1999. You can email me at carleydvm@yahoo.com
I am super excited for you and the family to be nearer your families and friends here in the US. I think Calgary may be one of the hardest places you have had to leave...it was for us..so we will be praying for you and the whole transition process!
Oh, do I know how you feel! When we moved to Singapore it was a great time for us to find a church that really fit our needs and our relationship with Christ. We want to be consumed with Christ and we want that for our kids, too. After visiting lots of churches of differing denominations we settled on one different than what we grew up in. It was easier for me than for Justin, and it was definitely a hard process. Email me and we can talk more about it if you want.
How exciting! I know God will lead you all to the exact place you need to be.
We're thankful to have your family so close. We'll actually have enough family to enjoy mini-reunions from time to time.
Our hope and prayer is that you'll be involved with a church family that you can grow in Christ with.
Each of us must seek out the situation we can Spiritually grow with. It's crucial that we realize that we "are" the church and it is not conclusive to the local building.
Our hope is house church where family and marriage are encouraged and valued. We're excited about the unity that happens in homes where life happens and can be shared. We also love the outreach that followers of Christ can offer on a local level, especially in neighborhoods.
We resist the word denomination because it represents fragmentation and man made doctrine. Unity and Biblical Truth are all we need. Anything else comes from human tradition.
Erin, thank you for sharing from your heart. It seems that people put to much emphasis on the "church" name that they were raised in rather than why they went to that church. I believe like you, if you want Christ or Jesus to be the centre of attention, then you need to find the right fit for your family. More people today are "church shopping" something like house shopping....trying out various places to see what the fit will be like for you. This should be secondary as the primary should be "how Christ focused are they". I know that you and Jeff will find the right "Christ focused/family orientated church family".
It was truly a pleasure getting to know you and your family and we will miss you dearly. Our church has truly lost a Christian family who walks the talk....good thing for email to stay in touch.
Gerri
Well said Erin, I totally understand what you mean. I too was raised in the church of Christ and I still attend. We attend a wonderful church with a preacher who is trying to get us all to live just like this! For Christ, not the church of Christ. Which is why we still attend, but there are confused people. We work to change things for our Dylan. I wish you luck and prayers to you all.
Hey Erin! Colorado is our second home...my extended family and in-laws live in the Denver area. We'll have to get together next time we visit!
Hope your move goes smoothly.
-Carly Bartee
Wow girl! This is a big change and SO exciting! I know that you and the whole fam will thrive in Colorado. Congratulations and I know that Calgary will miss you (like we do). :)
Denver is so fun! Enjoy!!
I am just getting around to reading this! I am so excited that you are moving to your dream city! So happy for you. I am so encouraged by your heart to seek just Christ--and I pray and believe that he will lead your family to just the church home he has for you. He will show you. I just know--and I will check back to see where that is!
Erin,
I lived in Denver for a while when I was a girl...actually Lakewood. I'm happy for you!
My brother lives west of there, and I'm planning to attend a Christian Writers' conference there next Feb. Maybe I will see you!
I totally understand where you are coming from on the CoC issues. I love the church of Christ, and I love the foundation upon which it was established, but as in all things that man gets involved with, we have added our own rules and regulations. We only have to read Galatians to realize that it was a problem even in the first century church. Our job in every generation is to compare what we are teaching with the truth of the Word of God. That should be possible within the context of the church of Christ if we are living up to the foundation upon which it was established. I'm not sure that is always true of us. That is the reason we were instructed to be autonomous to begin with...so that each generation could use the scriptures as a mirror...and not have to live up to a creed that man made. But Erin, we need young people with a dedication to Christ Himself to fight the good fight with us! We long to be right with Him, and many of us are willing to look at ourselves and see where we fall short, and where we have missed the boat entirely! It is not people we have failed, if we indeed have failed to belong to Christ instead of the church of Christ....it is Christ we have failed. No matter where you worship, it will be with imperfect men and women. You teach your children something very valuable when you teach them to stand up for what is right within the context of an imperfect spiritual family. I hope you will consider this when you choose your church home. If everyone leaves who is courageous enough to honestly evaluate where we are in relation to the scriptures and Christ, then where will we be?
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